


Adventures In HamilGays

by Paper__Kid



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Fluff, M/M, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, Pining, i have so many ideas just nobody telling me to write em, john laurens is gay as per usual, ok but seriously just come yell at my inbox if you ever want more, probs gonna have some, uhhhhh theres gonna be more
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-11 04:06:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13516251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paper__Kid/pseuds/Paper__Kid
Summary: This is the gay shit thats based on gay shit in my life haha oops.





	1. The Kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MJPYRG_Lafayette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MJPYRG_Lafayette/gifts).



> this is slight angst idk but its canon era

The door of the bar banged open and two men spilled out onto the darkened streets of New York, the taller of the two yelling out behind him a farewell. They made their way down the cobblestone streets stumbling and giggling like school girls. The shorter man linked his arm over the taller’s shoulder, looking at his face. He seemed to study him as they stumbled, and possibly sobered up a bit. Suddenly, the taller man stumbled, but was caught before he met the cold stone. The smaller man lead him to the side of the road, only to trip on his own accord bringing the other down with him. There they sat, laughing, on the side of a cold road in the middle of the night, somewhere in New York. Then the smaller man did something. He leaned forward and connected the two’s lips. Then he froze, realizing just what he had just done.  
He went to lean away but the presence of a hand on his cheek is what stopped him. 

The taller was kissing him back. 

He began to lose himself into the kiss, riding on euphoria and Liquid Courage.  
This was all he had ever wanted.  
This is everything he dreamed of.  
This is what he hoped for as a future.  
Future.  
His future.  
Suddenly he broke away, “Alex I am so sorry.” _I will not be the one to ruin your legacy._

With that, he ran off into the night.


	2. Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John writes some things down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoo boy i cant believe im writing this down.

John was sick of this. Sick of hiding. Sick of longing. Sick of all of it. He reached out to his desk and grabbed a pen and paper. 

He was going to do what his love did best; write his way out. The only sounds that filled the room for the next couple of hours was the scratch of the pen and the occasional sob from the man keeled over his desk, working till his fingers hurt.

_My dearest Alexander,_

_I cannot do this. You are too important to me to ever send this. But I need to get it out of my head for once, and not to you when we are alone. I never want to lose you. You are my world. You are pretty much everything to me. My family, I was never really close to. My sister was the closest to me. My mother died, as yours did, from illness. My father was so unbelievably angry. I didn’t want him hurting any of my siblings, so I took the brunt of it. After I got out of the house, I felt so lost. Then I met you. You grounded me. Made me feel real. Made everything feel real. I began to speak out against slavery. Speak out for equal rights. I began to be heard. I felt so alive. To be around you is like standing in the eye of a hurricane all the time. Everything around us is blowing, whirling, changing, everything except for you. You are always headstrong. Always stupid. Always passionate. You are so passionate about everything you do. It makes me wonder about your other passions. You almost never speak of relations, but are willing to flirt with the dames. You have also, on more than one occasion, treated me as of a dame. What are our relations? You know I am more than sorry about that night on the street. But that will not withhold me from remembering it. From remembering your lips on mine. You are like a shot of lightning, Alexander Hamilton, and I would not ask you to change for the world._

_Yours Forever,_  
_John Laurens._

When he finally composed himself, his words stared back at him. 

What to do with this paper? 

What were the risks of somebody finding it? 

Of someone reading it? 

Too many. 

He delicately folded the paper, trying not to think about what he was about to do with it. 

This letter was priceless. 

This letter was not his legacy. 

John stood, taking the letter with him, and strode over to the mantle in his home. 

_Alexander Hamilton, you are going to kill me, someday._

With a flick of his wrists, it was all gone. 

He watched as the flames turned blue for a moment. 

Blue, like his eyes. 

In that moment, John Laurens decided his favorite color was blue. 

It was a good thing he was leaving for South Carolina in the morning.


	3. lams- college au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurens' Lament.

Sometimes the cold air is what you need. Cold air, cold sheets, cold pillows, cold floor, cold window cracked open as the snow flurries in, cold cold cold. Cold and silent. The only sounds being the faraway shouts and yells of other college students. John lay there, on the cold bed, surrounded by cold flakes, wearing only shorts and a tee shirt that he slept in. Maybe he deserved this. Maybe this is how it’s all supposed to end. Cold, quiet, and lamenting on those you let slip away. _They’re going to graduate soon._ I know. _They’re going to leave soon._ I know. _You’re going to leave soon._ Don’t remind me. _What are you gonna do? Are you just gonna sit here and whine about it? Or are you gonna be a man and go fucking do something for once, you piece of shit._ John couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. All he could do was lay there. _Like a pussy._ No. _What was that, boy?_ I said _no._ He wanted to get up. He wanted to close the window. He wanted to scream and punch and yell and cry. But that would make him no better- Wouldn’t it? He never wanted to be him. He never wanted to become him. So John became everything his father was not. So John remained where he was. Glued to the freezing sheets. Unmoving. Around an hour later, his door creaked open. 

“Jesus FUCK it’s COLD- OH MY GOD, JOHN!?” There was a calamity of objects hitting the floor, and then there was a hand wrapped gingerly and gently around his wrist, taking his pulse.

“H-hey Alex.” John moved his fingers and intertwined them with the taller man’s. 

“John holy FUCK I thought you were dead you ASSHOLE!!” Alex finally moved so John could see him without moving his head too much.

“Don’t do that.” He whispered.

“Do what?” Alex asked, confusion lining his features, but his eyes didn’t change.

“Whatever you’re thinking- Stop it.” John wheezed a laugh, maybe the open window wasn’t a good idea. Alex breathed a laugh too. 

“Whatever, but you’re getting up now- Also, do you know anyone on the floor who owns a shovel?” Alex pulled him up gently by the hand.

“No. Why?” John asked, rubbing his hands up and down his arms, trying to regain some feeling in them. 

“Because you need to shovel the two inches of snow out of our room before it melts.” Alexander jumped off the bed and made a snowball, then hurled it out the window across the way to hit our friends Lafayette and Hercules’ window.


End file.
